A Tale of Odd Della Robbia and Ulrich Stern
by The Fifth Champion
Summary: While Odd and Ulrich are searching for Franz Hopper on Lyoko, they find a mysterious SHINY THING. After that...well, things tend to explode. Warning: Intensely stupid.


Disclaimer: I don't own Code Lyoko. Some French dudes do.

A/N: Again, the Fifth Champion has the nerve to step out of her category. Just what is she doing in comedy when all she writes is angst? Truthfully, I have no idea. My sister and I love Code Lyoko and like to tease the characters…so that's how this was born. She actually came up with the concept. And we have a weird sense of humor.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, even though I'm kind of apprehensive because I'm not that good at humor.

And this is **INCREDIBLY** stupid. Just a warning.

A Tale of Odd Della Robbia and Ulrich Stern

"Hey, how come Odd's name gets to go first?"

An angry Yumi is a frightening thing.

Take this moment for example: She was standing before the pair with a livid look in her eyes, the anger so potent it seemed to be rolling off her in steam. It was the sort of fury so powerful that her shortly-cropped, sleek black hair would rise up in a cloud, as if blown by a gust of wind, and simply stay there.

To Odd, it reminded him of a shrieking banshee.

To Ulrich, it reminded him of an extremely angry Yumi. (He wasn't very creative.)

"WILL—YOU—TWO—_SHUT UP!"_

"But Yumi," Ulrich pleaded, in that same smooth, slightly mysterious tone he thought she found alluring. "This is important."

The Japanese girl huffed. "Who won the high score in Zombie Raider Five is _more _important than finding Franz Hopper?"

"For your information, it was Zombie Raider Five Level Fifteen of the Undead Pirates of the Ancient Temple!" Odd sniped curtly. "And yeah, it is pretty important—because Ulrich won't admit that I beat him to the high score!"

Ulrich turned on him with a glower. "Cheating doesn't count, Odd! _I _won!"  
"Cheating? So now you think I'm a cheater!"

"I know you're a cheater!"

"Well, this time I wasn't cheating—"

An aggrieved cry cut across their bickering; Yumi was now so enraged that her hair was virtually standing on end, her whole face blazing terribly and her lips pursed precariously.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! WE CAME TO LYOKO TO _FIND FRANZ HOPPER!" _

There was truth in these words, but both boys were currently too horrified to acknowledge it. Neither was aware of how high a woman's pitch could go, and Ulrich was silently hoping that she wouldn't scream like that if they ever went out.

Well, he would bring chocolates. Girls never screamed when they had chocolate.

She seemed to be settling down after that ultimate screech. "Why don't you guys just…go over there, okay? Aelita and I can handle everything."

Ulrich angled his dark eyes at her, trying to embody the pinnacle of someone attractive, mystifying, and charming. (Not that he pulled it off very well)

"But Yumi, you need me."

"Yeah, me too!" Odd chimed in his annoyingly premature voice. Really, Ulrich was convinced he was the reason Yumi wouldn't date him; the spiky-haired midget ruined their every potential romantic moment.

At least, it was a better excuse than admitting he was too cowardly to ask her out or that she was too old-fashioned to make the first move.

"Guys…"

Aelita sauntered over to them, flaunting those glorious white wings of hers and tossing a head of luscious pink locks. Her green eyes sparkled with...

Wait. This story isn't about her.

"Why don't you go…guard that little chamber over there?" She pointed to a small square room fixed in the eternal blue of Sector Five. It looked barren and innocent enough; what trouble could two quarreling friends get into there?

Yumi smirked, glancing over at Aelita. What a clever idea! The girl had become excellent in quelling the boys' irritating antics. What trouble could two bumbling idiots get into while— _"guarding"_— an empty room?  
The two had already fallen for the bait.

"Hey, I'll race you," Ulrich shot quickly, the grin flitting across his lips almost as fast as his moving feet. He sped off in a blur of brown hair and vain laughter.

"No fair!" Odd shouted, bounding after him on all fours. "You have Super Speed!"

The room had smooth, blank walls, all smothered in the standardized blue that glowed eerily about everything in Sector Five.

Ulrich had reached it in mere seconds, grinning cockily, leaning against the cobalt tiles and gazing back at his friend, who was mewing like an angry cat and looking even more like one, what with his newly acquired feline ears and all.

In a flash of silver, Ulrich removed his twin blades from his scabbards, marveling how much cooler they were than Odd's clunky paws. He moved in deft, precise steps—a dance of deadly combat—and hummed a dangerous melody; he thought it sounded vaguely like batman, but wasn't entirely sure.

_"Dun nah nah naa…Ulrich…dun nah nah naa…Ulrich…dun nah nah—_

_Ulrich…oh… yeah…"_

"Are you done yet?"  
Odd had reached the mouth of the room, appearing irritable; his purple tail was flicking behind his mass of pointed blonde hair. His eyebrows were cocked quizzically at Ulrich's movements; he looked mildly disturbed.

Then again, Ulrich had lengthy conversations with his reflection, so this really wasn't that bad.

The boy just smiled smugly, returning his blades to their sheaths in one swift motion.

"Just because I'm cool like batman…"

"You were singing the tune to James Bond."

Ulrich opened his mouth, about to shoot a burning reply, when—

All logical thought ceased.

The two stared in quaking awe.

This place…

This chamber…

It was a home…

A home for…

THE SHINY THING.

There it hovered—THE SHINY THING—a glowing green ball that was not unlike the primitive guardians they had first encountered on their earliest missions to Lyoko; it radiated a faint aura of power, tiny flecks of…_something _darting like fish in the sea-jade depths of the sphere.

It was small, condensed, and glowing.

A coalesced bundle of green light.

And it was floating.

THE SHINY THING.

"What…is that thing?" Ulrich whispered in pure wonder. His voice was breathless with the very impact of it.

Odd's mouth was hanging open.

"Let's touch it."

He held up his claw, index finger (that is, if you count those…_appendages_ a cat has on its paw as fingers) curved in utmost anticipation. His expression was blank, frozen in the sheer magnificence of the glowing orb, his eyes like glazed windows as he turned them to his friend.

"I'm not going to touch it!" Ulrich retorted immediately. "_You _touch it!"  
"No way!"

Ulrich shoved him, sending the blonde-haired, purple cat-boy stumbling a few clumsy steps nearer to the glorious shining orb.

Hesitating, Odd's eyes found the object, wondering, then turned back to his friend nervously. Ulrich simply shook his head. He returned his gaze to the glowing orb and—overtaken by the reckless curiosity that ruled most of his actions—tapped it very, very lightly, with the mere tip of his claw.

Well, curiosity killed the cat, you know.

From the point where Odd's claw touched the orb, a web of blood-red hue spread over it, gliding across the smooth surface, as if the thing had been caught in a net of crimson ribbon. The color slowly seeped into the beautiful greenness, poisoning it, until it was dark with violent red.

The room shadowed.

Outside, the boys thought they could head the creaking of huge blue blocks about to tumble and the mournful, weirdly electronic bale of monsters keening. There was the rapid shuffle of feet, a crescendo of frightened voices rising and falling as the entire sector shifted; Ulrich thought one of those voices might have been Yumi screaming.

He swung his head swiftly to the sound. Really, he was just about to run to her, whether she was screaming or not.

But at that moment a deep darkness fell over them, throwing the two into a blackness so thick they couldn't see, save for the bloody pinprick of light that was the orb, now shaking violently and emitting arcs of static energy.

Then, with a high-pitched beep that slid down to a low hum (much like a computer turning off), Sector Five flickered back into light and the surly red orb returned to its peaceful green. Outside, the environment was serene once more: no creaking, no electronic keening, no helpless Yumi screaming for Ulrich to save her.

(Who, by the way, had been screeching his name in anger, not fear.)

He strode over to the glowing orb, Odd still staring dumbfounded at it, gazing with his paws thrown up over his head.

"Well, that was a rip off," Ulrich said simply.

And with a rasp of metal, he whipped out one of his long, thin blades and slashed the thing in half.

He must have been disappointed that it didn't blow up.

Unfortunately, that was when Jeremy realized what they were doing, and with a start, jerked his head toward the screen and moaned.

"Guys," he trebled after his clever mind had gone on a particularly nasty rampage of why geniuses-should-never-go-for-a-soda-when-two-of-his-friends-are-rather-brainless-and-prone-to-do-stupid-things-when-left-together-in-a-potentially-dangerous-area.

"Yeah, Einstein?" Odd asked, still looking confusedly at what seemed likely a perfectly undisturbed orb.

"That was Franz Hopper."

"Oh."

Ulrich turned back to the green orb with dull eyes. "Sorry, sir."

And with that it exploded.

A/N: I **TOLD** you it was ridiculous! I'm sorry if it was _too _stupid—like I said, I have a weird sense of humor. lol. It's a result of my sister and me staying up too late and watching reruns of Code Lyoko over and over. Of course, Ulrich and Odd aren't actually this…dimwitted. I just love to poke fun at the guys -

Oh, please don't ask why Franz Hopper is a green orb. I have no idea.

But if you must know: Nobody died due to the explosion; they were just devirtualized. (Sorry if I spelled that wrong!) And Franz Hopper wasn't killed or permanently lost…he just got sucked back into the internet or wherever he actually is in the show. Odd and Ulrich basically undid all the work Jeremy did to find him.

And yes, Jeremy certainly did kill them. (Aelita helped and Yumi just laughed)


End file.
